Surviving childhood cancer
Positivity is powerful.
Company is essential.
Distraction is paramount.
Belief in the future is mandatory.
November 3rd 2008 feels so long ago. Many moments are still so clear. Watching Mum and Dad in the Camperdown Ward hallway, from my freshly made hospital bed when I was admitted. I knew that anything my parents were told I wanted to be told. Exactly the same thing - without the sugar coating.
As a 12 year old, I was still well aware that what I was soon to endure would be difficult. I could feel it. I could see it on my parents faces. I knew, and I didn’t want anyone keeping anything from me.
As I settled into my hospital room and contemplated what I’d be going through for the next few months, I knew that the least amount of things that were different, the better the days were. I was still a kid, so the times I was able to express this were my favourite. I was introduced to my Play Therapist (now known as a ‘Child Life Therapist’) Cathy and little did I know she would very quickly become my absolute favourite person to see in the hospital.
Distraction was the best thing for me. I couldn’t eliminate the days I felt awful or lonely, but my discovery of new distractions became essential. Then, and even now. I developed new hobbies like Scrapbooking with Cathy (Former play therapist) and my absolute favourite was waiting for the midday hour to zone out and watch The Ellen Degeneres Show. Ellen was the best possible solution for these ‘yucky’ moments. Later, my ‘Wish’ with the Make A Wish Foundation was to meet Ellen. She made an impact on me then, and who I have become.
With chemotherapy I was always made aware that my hair would fall out. This never phased me as I didn’t think anything of ‘not having hair’, but little did I know this phase stopped when my hair actually started to fall out. 25 year old me looks back now and says ‘you should’ve just shaved your hair off Liza, but I forget to give that 12 year old who’s trying to go into the teenage world and fit in with social norms a break.
Children are way more perceptive than you think. They can read their parents. I loved having the company, even if that was one person sitting in silence next to me. I was only able to have one parent stay, so they had the alternating schedule/a few days on and a few days off. The real reward and ultimate distraction was when I could have one of my older siblings stay overnight with me. I knew this was a moment to have a new ‘guest’, but only now do I realise that was the moment Mum and Dad could have away time together from the hospital ward and grateful I have siblings old enough to stay.
All in all, this is where I connected with Camp Quality. Camp Quality is an organisation that gave me and my family the chance to get back out and enjoy the positive and fun moments life should be about. After all my treatment finished and the time came to go back home and join back in with mainstream school, I had moments of not knowing where to ‘slot’ myself in.
Although I knew my friends before cancer were still my friends after cancer they had so much development in social skills with others that I missed during hospital. Camp Quality got me feeling like a kid again and helped me build the social foundation for me that I lacked. Socialising with other kids my age that had been affected by cancer, who could have “that topic” of conversation come up and not feel awkward to talk about it. “Mainstream” kids could not do that.
Although there’s a single patient experiencing the physicality of cancer, the surrounding family are very much along the same journey, feeling the same pain.
DURING HOSPITAL:
Ronald McDonald House Charities
AFTER HOSPITAL:
So, how do you best support a child going through cancer?
Allow the child to be themselves
Don’t tell them what they can’t do. They need to know what is possible.
For older children, they are aware of their vulnerability and how tenuous their life is. Try not to treat them as if they don’t know.
Be involved with everything that interests them.
Make sure at all cost, ALL cost, you have access to a TV station with Ellen.
Ensure the child is as socially active as their situation allows. Kids love kids. They love going out, and being with other kids.
They NEED to feel important and special.SIBLINGS ARE ESSENTIAL. MORE ESSENTIAL THAN PARENTS.
This post originally appeared on Eliza Wood’s blog and has been reposted with permission.